This was one of the best weeks in my life, in learning; however, some fortune sided from here and there. To begin with, my college saw one of the biggest fest- THE EMPORIA 1989, the scientific symposium. Hats off to the organizers for this successful fiesta and experience for me. The day begins at 9 in the morning and ended at 9 in the evening, the end result after tiresome day was a fourth place in an event and complete exhaustion. I loved the way things went, and got acclimatized to the agenda.
Met a lot of people in these 4 days, saw many new parts of people and also “enjoyed” with them. Group events had 4/3 different people in my group with different character and heavy headedness. Adjustments, complaints and victory came along my way. However, the victory didn’t give much of relief; It was mostly overshadowed by allusive complaints and contempt. I hate myself now, for not having recognized this in each and every one of them. Everyone (my team mates) targeted me and blamed me for being so callous. It was again allusive. I haven’t paid attention to people’s behavior as much as I did this week. I didn’t know that people type each and every word I utter in chronological order in their mind. For this I again censured myself for being so naïve and abandoning the true world. Among these, plots, climax and complaints the progress in competition was constant.
It’s amazing to see how life works, one point of time u gets advised and by the next second you advise people. I am not good at that, but worked hard in giving it and miserably failed. By the way, how can you advise better to the person who advises you always (some one who is didactic). I was acquitted for taunting (which happens always), not minding my own business and getting into the personal issues of others life (5th in a row…waiting for 2nd time hat trick, each time I change I get accused for the same thing for which I was accused first), for naming “uncultured” special prefixes and names to the applicants and last but not the least being very naïve and gauche. My mind still quest for the reason , but I appreciate your decision and completely support your unselfish accord.
I, by now have got used to these, and have become a prisoner in a bastion. I tried changing but complaints keep pouring, I try keeping pace with the changing world. My funny body and mind has become so different that I buried my true self deep underground over a tombstone etched RIP and I am happy that I have changed. I don’t want to dig up the real me, as I know that this present “me” is way stronger, better, adaptable and decently amenable. With the recent incident, I hardly can rely on any people who have become close to me by my “amenable” nature. But still, I have a hope that somewhere around the world I have a friend who is waiting to lend me his hand or shoulders when I need them. It’s funny to realize that whenever I was pepped while I was in depression was just a crafty trick played on me. In short, I was smoking cigarette so long and getting the symptoms of cancer in a heavy smoker.
It still lingers in my ears, your shivering voice, heavy breath and cutting words. I am not complaining- I am just enjoying the flourishing moments of my life. Unfortunately or fortunately you have carved a deep crust in my mind which might not be erased, even after my mind stops thinking.
Now, I am just sick and tired of changing myself and winning something in any competition in my college. I give up travelling blindfolded. I want to be a demagogue or rogue, his life is short and sweet with loads of excitements and anecdotes to narrate in hell or heaven. I give up my group of friends for you; I give up my friendship for you. I give up my tongue; life could be a bit sweet for a dumb. You might not accept that way but I am strong enough to assure that I can handle my life without you. It’s just another scar in a wound, so won’t be painful. The antidote for this anguish would be somewhere and I would hopefully found out.
I am moving on to the next city where superficial and skeptic relationship being outdated rules, only my dreams and my parents enjoying their ride in Venice is all in my mind.
Good Bye and would definitely miss the time I spent with you.
After the letter was posted to his sister, Murphy departed to where no human can come back!!