Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
It was Shilpa's one of the most common days of her dissappointing life. As usual, the routine of her life for the past few years ,was to dress vivdly wid plain clothes and get ready to take her bag with her to search for admission . She wanted to go to college, and learn and earn more and give back what her parents had given her. The thought of her parents gave her an overshadowing remourse of the past , the life with them . She always vividly imagined the days wen her father used to carry her to school and tell her about the things going on in science and urged her to pursue the path never tyaken by many. Her life was completely different now, first of all she is grown now, and her parents are no more who died in the godra riots. She has been brought up in hostel with the amazon grouchy warden. It was about early morning , she stood in front of the mirror checking herself giving a quick glances at her watch. wen she had done , she flew towards her bag which a steriotyped one, she didnt look if her files and certificates were fine, as she knew tat it would be undisturbed body like the unclaimed corpse in the station. She ran down the road,she hurried her steps inspite of her having a hell lot of time for the interview. She almost jogged her way to the station , which by now was completely crowded by the local mumbaikars going to their work. She hurried to keep the pace with commuters and got her ticket, she sped to the platform and checked her watch , it showed 8.15 am. She had plenty of time, the interview was at 10.00 am. the fast local arrived and the crowd got down monotonously before the train could screech to halt. She amde it a point to get into the lady's cmpartment which was difficult to be spoted among the crowded bogies of the train. With her expert eyes she got into one, just beofre the tain kleft. The train immediately spung into immense speed and there the station dissappeared. She whispered" all going gud", the journey was about 30 minutes and by the time she reached her station , the compartment was almost empty. She was nervous ,as she desperately wanted to get into this college as this was her 18th college in mumbai she is trying for,Inspite of her gud grades and excellent educational rcord she has been denied admission. She briskly got into a taxi and went to the college, she was early , atleats an hour early. She hurried to the office , the office just got up after a along weekend break, the clerk guided her to the principal room and within minutes as though knowing the whole plan of the college she reached his cabin. It wasnt open yet, it was a common site for her as she usually reaches the place well in advance, she took time to relax herself and get into the interview mood, she quickly zapped through her files and certificates and kept repeateing her intro that she was about to give, she didnt forget a bit , everytime she told her intro she was excited about it even now, this being her 19th time. The clerk called her inside, she didnt know y, she looked questioningly at him, she replied " admission ke liye , patha hai na..dus baje". she freakishly gave a smile and nod , realised the time flew out well!!, the principals room was serene, with a huge neatly put desk and a board of tropies in the side. The place smelt of morning dew. The principal, looked at her and gave her assent to sit, the interview began , she briskly gave and showed her files , the principal seems to be impressed, she was sure to get admission , the principal gave her a nod , and questioned" its been 4 years since u completed ur school and y havent u got admission before , wat were u doing for these years?" her head spinned, she just hoped tat she would nt be questioned abt tat, she bleakly replied" a job, i was doing a job, so that i cud get enuf for my college", the next question was immediately and delivered a chill to her spine" wat job?? and wer?", she tot to tell another thing but she didnt have any sort of certificates to prove tat she has been working, her happiness was gone, gone forever, it was completely overshadowed by her past, she replied" i wont tell tat", the angry principal questioningly argued with her, the debate was for about 20 minutes , she came out of the cabin, drenched with sweat, she knew for sure tat she wont get admission agian, she was completely sobbing, she ran to a quiet corner and cried aloud, she kept sobbing and screaming" y me??"" wat did i have to do wid this??" " i am not supposed to be like this"...like always she walked agian back to her lair disaapointed , she sobbed even more, this time it was in her room, she wanted to end her life,nothing in this world matter to her to live, all she wanted for was education, the crime which she had made of thinking of education, she made up her mind and jus ransacked her room, searching for something strong. she made a noose with her bedsheet from the fan hook , bearing a worried and scared heart about the death and pain, she got on the chair, the noose carefully on her neck, she wiped her tears and screamed but still sobbing , and she pushed the rim of chair, the noose tightened and she couldnt breathe, her death enveloped her, with a last few jerks from her body the life of this innocent gal was taken. Shilpa could'nt forget the fact that she has been denied admission , which really prickked her . She was denied inspite of gud record , just because she was a sex worker which time could never heal............
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
ADMIST the coast, the dome with its golden altar seen from the side of the road. The automotives dont have inside the premises, one needs to walk alone half a mile on foot along the salty breez of the ARabian sea. The sea was calm , offcourse dirty-thanks to the modernisation of this evergrowing city of mumbai. The evening breeze was gentle. however it didnt seem to be as salty as it usually was wen we visited the place for the first time. apart form the sea, there was also an arabian sea of people walking along with me to visit the architectural marvel of the past centuries. we were welcomed by a huge gateway, which supported the inner dargah of this ancient mosque. The gateway was surrounded by minars each supporting hude helium lights and offcourse the electronic loudspeakers. The gateways was painted white which semms to have got its last coat centuries before. There was a thick crowd of people believing in another set of principles than mine's. the open walls which followed the entrance was hardly to be seen , the place was chaiotic and addle, with people moving in all directions. There was a huge crowd to a dome in the centre of this closed space. IT was decorated with bright prayer cloth all accross the dargah, The dominace of arabic was accentuated , we disguised ourslefs like the traditional muslims to blend into the crowd. The energy and noise was too high to make it serene or calm. But it had something which drove them to find out. The aesthetic dome was covered with glass pieces, from the middle hung av crystal chandalier which didnt make much of dominance. RIght below it was a silver frame supporting a huge , high frangrant, decorated green cloth which seemed to be their honour of prayer.Surrounding it were the priest, humming hymns and blessing the believers by the peacock feathers. The environment right outside completely cntained the gapping people and offcourse the magnifient city of mumbai which is still healing the wounds of 26/11 attack and also the structure which fought against time and stood there for turning everyones attention.
IT was then , when i made my way to the sea to soak my feet into the warm eveving sea water. There were many people along with me , in groups, in pairs, and alone all trying to do their way to enjoy what this unknown person has gifted us-life.Once i sat onthe humid rock which was the home for many mussells before, with my foot in water, viewing the red sun dip into the sea after a long days work, i again was made to realise whati didnt notic, peace of mind. For wat i have been searching, and wat i have been greedy for and wat we all hope for- peace.Both the buldings were just mere structures to the eyes of a common man. But it is a virtual site for peace for people who is a common man , but in desperate search of something wen he is ALONE or deserted.BEFORE WE LOST SOMETHING, BUT AFTER TAJ WAS BURNT TO SONTERS, WE LOST EVERYTHING, EXCEPT HOPE TO UNITE BACK FOR PEACE EVEN THOUGH WE ARE ALONE.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
well!! The exam turned out to be gud inspite of a very miserable underperformance, i landed up scoring decently this semester.First of all this wasnt a shock for me , i was happy enough to get wat i wanted( but i could have scored a lot) its not that i am nagging about my underperformance. I am greatful that i am not a whinner ,that saves me from a lot of scolding and pityness.What ever has been in the past is past and now lets come to the gift of present.
The holidays wasnt a drag this time as i had planned to make it a little bit tighter by doing an internship in Mumbai.The first 2 weeks flew off by getting used to very very nice food from the bad ones( past!!) which i did bear to eat for the last few months.
Spending time with mom and dad, did the magic of getting rid of the college chaos from my mind( as offcourse my exams too).We spent a lot of time than usual together and had more fun this time. Now thats just left me for wanting more when i go back this july.
Coming back to the point, There has been a lot of outing and fun rather than research and studies. Mumbai being a very inviting place for tourist who wander around in thirst for some exquisite destinations.Gladly!! we were one among them ( now we meaning = kanika , shreya , abhinav and myself ( all from the same college)). We had gone to numerous places like marine drive, gateway of india, TAj hotel, shivaji park, dadar beach, mahalaxmi temple, hajiali and last but not the least elephanta caves. These were the place which we had made it a point to look in the last 2 weekends. The best part of our trip was the elephanta caves. The ferry ride was rather dull and sickening. We were all left wanting to stand up steadily on our foot. The place was crowded and the sun did not show us any mercy and neither did the humidity. However, the cool winds blew only when we were returning back to gateway.
The caves were normal just like the normal indian caves, half the statues were broken and most of them were beheaded ( or was it made like that)..but still we enjoyed. I did enjoy the caves not for its rich indian heritage it showed inspite of its dilapilated condition but because of a girl. She was tall ,pretty dark and always had a fixed smile showing her near white teeth. Perhaps she did come to see the caves for the first time. She was accompanied by her mom( oh! no) and her sister or cousin which i didnt really know. Offcoure the villan of every guy came late,the father came late holding a bottle of water with him ( probably he bought them). She walked gracefully touching each and every bit of rock there (which was suppose to be the statues) carefully. I guess she was out of breath after the first caves, sadly her stamina was nt good. Her protective mom was telling her something everytime she went to a cave or to a statue. Even though she was tired she was getting happier and excited as she moved from one cave to another, by the end she was excited , just like a mad monkey.
I really dont know why was i looking at her all the time, she had something that brought my attention. Something , i adore and really needed at that time. I studied her more closely while we were getting down to get into the ferry but she seemed to be a perfectly normal gal . All of my friends got onto the ferry hurriedly to catch some seats .Luckly this time the ferry was way faster and the current also seemed to be gud as the water kept splashing on us. Still my attention was towards her, now she was not perspiring , she was talking on the phone probably to her brother, excited telling what she saw, just like a 5 year old kid who just jumps around if he gone to the zoo and telling his grandparents what he saw. Now the journey was over , this time the boat was very fast. the gateway welcomed us and behind looked the recovering Taj , shyly showing its heritage and determination of coming back after the shock it was in. There i turned around to find the girl who just wanted to tell me something ,dunno wat still, i spotted admist her relative all surround her just like a mother elephant protecting its cub from a lioness. There she took out a stick which was foldable , which grew out to look like a walking still, and she wore a pair of dark glasses, i realised what i learnt from her then, she taught me to live among all odd ,gave a simple request to help them and a curiousity to learn inspite of ones condition and offcourse the joy in living the life with what u are. Now i was greatful to god, not for making me born like her, for showing that girl to me who really knows a lot about life than me. The trip was still the best among the others. I learnt a lot , not from papers but from people and this time i really learnt it.
God , just dont be cruel to anyone else , for a sweet girl to be born BLIND.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
This experience which you may be reading is probably very synoptic , just because I am writing this after watching despicable yet exciting movie- SAW 5. Leaving that aside , good times are hard ahead as the college reopened with no water and electricity on the day we arrived and to top it all off with no Internet too. Days didn’t seem to be on my way the next day either with a very tough and long timetable for this semester.
Seeing no use in sitting in the hostel , I wore in my jerkins and set to canteen to access the internet with WI-FI system. The route was covered with shadows with patches of indolent light from the street lights trying hard to show up their existence. Many other seniors were chatting loudly with friendly curses and off course some were on phone with their “loved” ones far apart. I spend 2 hours in the canteen accessing the net .I could have stayed for more but my laptop’s battery wouldn’t agree to stay longer. The time was around 1 in the morning , this is when i realized that I was enjoying the internet in solitude. With the street dogs making their usual patrol in the streets made me a little bit petrified. Nevertheless the solitude drove it off. With no one in far end of my sight , I felt as though I just bought the whole world. The slow winds cooled me and the rustling leaves giving me company. I had no one except for my own shadow. The lazy light glowed up as I walked as the spotlight following a cine star. The cool winds seized to blow ,instead a long silence entered my path. The silence was too much to handle for me, so I broke it up with my favorite song “adiye Kollude( someone’s killing me)” a song from a tamil movie. Being alone , I gave a shot on singing, I started humming the song as the song progressed ….feeling more confident I started singing a bit loudly , the winds blew up as if trying to make the trees to dance to my song….probably encouraging me to sing . However giving it my best, I started singing very loudly squandering all my energy. The wind tuned to my singing and becaming very strong , however I never realized that it was cold…be it anyone else seeing me do this probably would have confirmed that I was a lunatic on loose. Even after the song stopped , the wind didn’t making me realized what I was enjoying which even in million bugs you wouldn’t enjoy. Be it even with friends but no one could be a better companion nor your admirer than the nature…all of a sudden all the things flashed at once within me, making me realize the angel who was with me even when I was alone at midnight probably in the middle of some haunted road dwelled by the nasty street dogs. All I can do now is just wonder about that night ..that very night which made me realize that I AM IN LOVE………, OH!!! YES, I AM IN LOVE and what a way to realize that…………….